The library in which I work is being moved. The whole area of the building is being restructured. An architect is involved in all this, obviously, but that seems to mean that we can't take the perfectly good furniture we already have with us but have to buy new. As they are spending so much money on a snazzy green glass front and a bespoke carpet they are cutting corners on furniture. So last weekend we had a meeting with the architect, Bruce, his wife, Izzy, who is also the colour consultant, the furniture guy and.. THE CARPET GUY!
Anyway we discussed things and realised that we didn't really have a say in anything but afterwards we were all impressed by THE CARPET GUY. He was like a cross between Bill Nighy and James May but with more of the former's attitude to life. That led us to cast the whole meeting as if there was going to be a film of it. THE CARPET GUY would obviously be played by Bill Nighy. The architect was Timothy Spall and his wife Liv Tyler (yes - he was definitely punching above his weight so we think he is making lots of money!). The furniture guy would be Hugh Grant as he was rather posh and a bit pleased with himself. My boss Ian would be played by Richard Griffiths as we can't think of anyone else suitably corpulent (needless to say he wasn't part of this conversation). Jenny, our archivist, would be played by Carrie Fisher as she is quite feisty. My colleague Andrew chose to be played by James Stewart and I chose Sigourney Weaver to play me. She is an idealised me. Rather tall with curly hair. Tom Stoppard was going write the script and then to liven things up we would get Quentin Tarantino to direct it.
The upshot of it all is that we are still rather unsatisfied with the finishing touches to the library but we feel we had revenge in a quiet way!
